Spring Comes, Rain Falls

“The morning will come again, because no darkness or no season, can last forever”#

Isn't it funny how a song can evoke feelings of happiness in one person, and sadness and wanting to forget in another? 

Whenever Spring Day by BTS comes onto my playlist, I'm forever reminded of my first love. There is a line in the song that goes: “The flowers of snow fall, and little by little, they drift apart"#. Somehow, I like to think of these flowers of snow as traces left by BTS, carried by the wind through the harshest of winters.

Then, one late spring day, they reached me.

First loves, sweet and delicate are like young budding flowers. But in the end, all good things must come to an end. As time went by, our love slowly began to wither one petal at a time, until all of it was washed away by the following year’s winter rain. 

Over the next few days and weeks, I’ve never felt so conflicted in my life. One part of me wanted him back. Another part of me wanted to forget him. I felt like I was engaged in an endless game of tug-of-war, pulled back and forth from one side to another. Every tug was tiring, and all I wanted to do was to put an end to this misery. So I emptied out and got rid of everything that reminded me of him, including any songs that he had liked and shared with me in the past. 


But there was one song that remained on my playlist. It was Spring Day. 

"I miss you, saying this out loud makes me miss you more…”#

There were days when I skipped the song because it peeled back painful memories that triggered my wounded inner child. The relationship towards the end was filled with negative energy, and it destroyed me. I felt as if I was a boat navigating the rough seas on a pitch-black night, and I had lost my bearing. Without any anchor grounded below me, I kept drifting further and further out to sea. In the end, I was swallowed up by the darkness. 

A part of me hated how this beautiful song reminded me of him. Yet, I didn’t stop listening to it, not because I longed for him, but because the song had an important message to tell me. Only I didn’t find it at that time.

“The morning will come again, because no darkness or no season, can last forever”.#


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#Lyrics translation credit: doolset lyrics